Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Bible Before Business

I have some lyrics for you. I was thinking about this song as I got ready this morning. Can you tell me who sang it?
Toil and labour on the Ark, Noah, God meant it.
Scorn and pity's all the world around, you'll ever know.
Rain and thunder in the dark, Noah, God sent it.
Sing redemption everywhere you go.
Praise the Lord, he has led you, Noah.
Thirst and hunger on the rock, Moses, God gave you.
Pain and sorrows all the world around, you'll ever know.
Fire and fury in the cloud, Moses, God save you.
Sing redemption everywhere you go.
Praise the Lord, he has led you, Moses.
Cold and hungry in the ground, Joseph, God left you.
Greed and hatred's all the world around, you'll ever know.
Pull your coat of colours round, Joseph, God blessed you.
Sing redemption everywhere you go.
Praise the Lord, he has led you, Joseph.

Those words sounded like Bible names, right? Yup, but this is by an old rock band called Blood, Sweat & Tears. It is from their fourth album, called BS&T4. Clever, right? You can listen to the song here.

I don't know how many of you were reading National Review magazine back in 1995, but they published the following Bible stories, allegedly written by real students and presented as genuine, authentic and unretouched. Here are a couple:
In the first book of the Bible, Guinness's, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

I cannot remember if I shared the article about the iPotty before. Yes, it is a real thing. Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. I cannot judge if it is effective. I will leave that to those of you trying to potty train your child right now.

Speaking of children, check out JV looking at the billiard balls falling into the return hold on our trip up north. Of course, the next step was that he interrupted our game so he could drop balls into each different pocket and watch as they made their way through the return mechanism.

Here's the view from his vantage point.

How many of you check out the sales brochures in your daily newspaper? We used to, although that is primarily replaced now by online opportunities. Anyway, I read last year about the exclusions page for Dick's Sporting Goods. Check the page out and notice that it seems like every product they sell can be excluded from any promotion or sale. And in an additional explanatory paragraph, they also exclude some whole product categories.

Feeling fat today? Well, take solace in the fact that, overall, America is not getting fatter anymore. Adult daily calorie consumption is “in the midst of [its] first sustained decline” since the feds began tracking it more than 40 years ago, per the Times. American children are cutting back even more on calories, by an average of roughly 9 percent since 2004. Non-diet soda consumption is down a whopping 25 percent since the new millennium. It is still not necessarily pretty, though, Read more details in the article.

If you decide to watch your own eating, you might decide to limit carb intake.

You didn't think I would let a birthday pass without mention, did you? Bugs Bunny turned 75 this year. I don't know the actual date, but I guess at that age, it doesn't really matter. Anyway, Happy Birthday, Bug. Hopefully, that's not all, folks.

On your birthday, calories are magically immaterial. Well, I think I heard that once. Anyway, I saw a graphic illustration of the amount of sugar in a Red Bull. I have never tried one, but I know many around me use it. You know Red Bull energy drink, right?

Here's the sugar in a 12oz can.

As so often happens, I share a few things and then leave you wanting more. Well, you will just have to wait. I am through for today.

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