Tuesday, July 01, 2014

The Leftovers

No, that is not what I am offering up to you today. You guys get the fresh stuff, whipped up each morning to share the latest and greatest of interesting stories and witty banter. Actually, The Leftovers is a new show in HBO that is about people left behind when part of the population disappears. It didn't do great in its premiere, but that could be because it might be about religious things like the Rapture. Then again, it could because it was only OK. We will watch at least one more episode, but it didn't grab us strongly either.

Hey, read this header line from a Yahoo! article today and tell me what you think.

Does it say that only 10 cars made a list of 10 cars? No? Well, how do you interpret it, then?

And what if our super heroes really reflected the average American (in things like height and weight)? They'd look like this.

Do you say Dr. Soos or Dr. Soiz? What am I talking about? Go here and read the Pen names and Pronunciations section. I apparently say it incorrectly.

Speaking of photos, I forgot ONCE AGAIN to upload my photos. I know y'all are being really patient, but I need to get that done soon.

Since I don't have to upload anything, I can share a cool article about a guy taking photos of WiFi signals. Weird, right? Look at them and see what you think.

I will end today with 1/3 of a Reader's Digest article from 1971 that has been part of my vocabulary ever since. The story is called There's No Mayonnaise in Ireland, by Will Stanton.

IF I HAVE a reputation around town for being slightly eccentric, it's because I suffer from a strange malady. In many conversations, through a kind of slip-of-the-ear, I hear things that have never been said. It usually happens when I'm talking to women, and I think it's because I'm no good at male-female banter and am constantly groping for something witty to say. As a result, I often fail to catch what is said to me. This happens especially at parties, where conversation is likely to be disjointed anyhow.

I was standing next to a woman at one party recently, not paying much attention to what she was saying, when suddenly she came out with the statement that there was no mayonnaise in Ireland. Of course, I knew what she was doing. She had noticed that my attention was wandering, so she made up a silly remark to see if I'd let it pass. But that was a game that two could play. Without batting an eye, I came back with a strange remark of my own.

The lady made some excuse and left. Shortly afterward, I overheard her suggest to my wife that maybe I ought to be taken home. "I'm afraid he's had one too many." she said; "I was quoting a line of poetry—you know, that bit about 'No man is an island.' Well, your husband gave me a blank look and said 'There is no ketchup in Australia.'"

The story may be from 1971, but it is NOT leftovers. I will give you the next excerpt tomorrow. Did you laugh at the above story? Did you even smile? I did. That's gold, people. Gold!

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