Needs More Profanity

Had Gordon Ramsey been part of the classic Saturday Night Live skit with Will Farrell and Blue Oyster Cult, the phrase may have become "Needs more profanity" rather than :Needs more cowbell." OK, maybe not, but Hell's Kitchen certainly contains more profanity per minute than anything else on prime time TV. I think it must even be part of the contract the contestants sign.

Today's commute was fairly easy. Not much congestion. No accidents. Still, I was running a few minutes late, so what could I do to reduce my getting ready time in the mornings?

The COV title includes Flowbee because I ran out of room in the comic. Do you remember the Flowbee for giving yourself haircuts? Check it out here.

Did you notice a 10-minute gap between the last sentence and this one? I got pulled away by a business call. What is up with that? It is way too early to think.

It seems school must be settling in. I am not hearing as much classroom chatter as I did for the last two weeks. So, if any government agency is listening to our calls for classroom chatter, they must be sorely disappointed.

We had some lightning and thunder pass through last night, but it did not give us any rain. The dog gets very nervous when he hears thunder, so that's the only reason I know it happened. There is a chance of rain during the weekend, so that's good. We will actually move below 110°F by then.

My mind keeps drifting back to that business call, so I'm going to go ahead and take action on the problem. You've heard enough from me today anyway.

Oh Happy Day

Did that bring the old song to mind? Well, it should have because it is a fitting reminder of my oldest granddaughter getting baptized yesterday. She had her parents and grandparents and great-grandparents there to share in the memory. Amen and Amen.

Then last night, I was thinking I would sit back and enjoy the Olympics closing ceremony. No, I just recorded it and watched the 15-20 minutes that were bearable. It was so boring. Did you watch it? However, I am kind of glad the Olympics ended. I always watched an event or two and then stayed for the next and the next. I watched sports I don't even care about.

We went over to KLIK+JV on Saturday night and they had taped one Olympic event for us to see. Horse Dancing. Well, technically it is called Dressage, but it was this prancing around, all Devil-may-care. Lifting up its hooves, pausing for a couple of seconds with it in the air, then doing the next. The horse even walks sideways. We had a good laugh watching that. Then we played Ticket to Ride: The Card Game. I cannot remember who won. I just know that it wasn't me.

We did not see any movie this weekend. Did you?

I have to assist in an interview this afternoon to replace a contractor that left. So, sometime before then, I need to find my list of standard interview questions and think about which ones I would like answered. I just printed his resume and I will review that, too.

This is about the time every year when I question the sanity of all of us who live in the desert. 115°F yesterday, cooling to 114°F today. Luckily, we will move down to 104°F by the weekend. Still, it is our version of whatever malady people in snow country get in the winter (or maybe whatever NZ dwellers get during our summer/their winter).

We can only put off Monday for so long, and I need to work. So long.

Do You Know Anyone Named Les Moore?

Let's go ahead and read today's CoV so you can see what made me think of today's post title.

I do not know anyone named Les or Lester Moore. If you had a kid and your last name was Moore, would you do that to them? It would be like being named Jay Walker or Justin Case.

Wow, our house was hot yesterday. I don't know how anyone can feel comfortable in a house where the temp routinely reaches about 81° or 82°. We are on a program from the electric company where we pay more for electricity during the peak usage hours but pay much less during off-peak. So, we let the house reach up to 85° between 1pm and 8pm and then cool it to 74° between 8pm and 1pm the next day. Weekends and holidays are considered non-peak, also. Still, from 5pm-8pm, while our temps are reaching 115°+, it is quite uncomfortable. The power company includes a note on each bill saying how much we saved. However, it is not valid because I might not cool the house as much if the rate wasn't reduced, nor would I let it reach 85° if the rate were not higher. OK, too much math. Let's move to some other topic.

The girls are stopping by this afternoon. JV or someone must have a doctor's appointment. So, we will probably cool the house a little to make it more bearable while they are there. We will find out how Bella's school is going and how do Kenz like pre-K. Oh, and we might talk to K&L, too.

Plans for the weekend? Nothing jumps to mind. No, that is not true. Well, I mean, it was true just one minute ago when I wrote that, but now it is not true because I have an idea of something I need to get done. I have to get motivated to finish the design for the master bathroom remodel. We are making do with one shower in the guest bath, but it is inconvenient. So, I will do some work on that this weekend.

Lindsay, it's been a couple of weeks since you posted. I know your folks are there, but it would only take6.67 minutes to let us know what's happening. I guess you might be posting to Facebook, but I rarely check that.

Preacher Bro, clever retort yesterday. Hmm, did you have to have a tort first?

Cousin, I agree that those accountant jokes were clever, but perhaps a little too cerebral for you? Which one made you chortle? I liked "Your Momma is so fat; her health insurance premiums are automatically 25 to 30 percent higher than over 80% of women in her age group."

OK, we cannot start the weekend without actually ending the week. So, I'd better hit the water cooler and get Friday officially underway.

Man, It's a Hot One, Like Seven Inches From the Midday Sun

You can imagine why the lyrics to Santana's song, Smooth, come to mind these days. It is a hot one, and not only one. We are staying at 113°F for the rest of the workweek. And every afternoon at 3pm, teachers at my wife's school stand outside with their students waiting on parents. That does not sound like fun. So, why do we start school during this hot, humid month? I don't know. Back in the day (I am old enough to say that now and really mean it), we didn't go back until around Labor Day. I am also old enough to remember when they would say no white after Labor Day. No, that has nothing to do with this post. It is just a Labor Day-related factoid.

One thing that I do know is that we all wish we could be as effective and, dare I say it, as cool as Ninja PM.

Hey, do I have any readers who might appreciate a good accountant-related joke? If so, take a moment to look here and enjoy.

Do I have any readers who might appreciate preacher-related jokes? Well, I cannot help you. They have no sense of humor.

I have to go home during lunch to meet an electric company person to review setting on the new pool pump. Since the pool company got some rebate when they installed my energy efficient pump, the electric company checks to make sure it is set to minimize usage while still being effective on the pool. That bad thing is that means I will lose my covered parking. NOOOO. The car is too stinkin' hot then for my commute home.

OK, enough humor and frivolity and jocularity. Let's get our Thursday started.

It's That Time of Year

The August heat seems somehow more unbearable because Fall activities such as school are starting, but the relentless heat continues. We should reach 113° today, and humidity is up. Luckily, since I come in early, I get one of the few covered parking spots at our building.

Speaking of covered parking...

Chorale was good last night. Can you believe we are already starting Christmas songs? I kind of like a couple of them. And we are scheduled to record a second CD in the Spring. I have not heard our first one yet.

It is a nice, easy two meeting kind of day. However, I have to present at one of them, so I'd better finish the presentation materials this morning so management can review it before I present. That is a break for you because I am already thinking about it and will end the blog post early. TTFN.

Too Hot Too Sday

It is too hot on this first Tuesday in August. Actually, this is a normal hot, but the increased humidity makes it feel so much more oppressive. How do you people in humid states do it? Of course, we have the opposite problem. It is normally so dry here that you have to make sure your water bottle isn't open until you place it against your mouth. If you pour it from any distance, the water evaporates before it reaches the glass or your mouth or whatever.

We had a nice little anniversary dinner at a local middle-Eastern place. Then, we went home and watched a little Breaking Bad. I know what you are thinking. What about my weekly profanity fix from Gordon Ramsey? Yeah, it was a repeat; probably to avoid getting beaten in the ratings by the Olympics. We then watched some of the Olympics. I noticed that Blade Runner was beaten in his race and is out. Too bad, but it is an interesting story.

Speaking of interesting stories....

OK, maybe that wasn't interesting or a story.

I show three meetings on my docket today. That's not bad, right? And they are all in the afternoon, so I can get a little work done until then.

We registered to receive early ballots for future elections. What about you? Do you like to wait at the polling location on Election Day so you can get your little sticker? Or would you like to vote early but forgot to register for the early ballot? Or do you even vote? You should vote. It's how we get to make our voice heard.

Well, I will get off my soap box. Hey, will future generations even know what a physical soap box is? In fact, do I even know? I don't think so. Oh well. Have a Terrific Tuesday.

She Stayed Another Year?

Yup, we have rejoiced through 36 years and I would not be surprised if we make it all the way to 37. Well, maybe a little surprised. After all, would you put up with me for even a fraction of that? Happy Anniversary, Dear.

My wife is hot. Well, she is but I was talking about the title to today's CoV (#778).

I went with KIK to Weird Al last night. We had a great time and the girls seemed to really enjoy the show. That guy is certainly creative. The songs ranged from old stuff like Bad and Fat up to the newer stuff like Polka Face and Perform this Way. His encore included his Star Wars-themed pieces with an amazing chant in the middle which included some Tiki Room stuff. They then stopped for a minute without moving and resumed Yoda. It was a lot of fun.

KaBaJ (Kendall and Bella and Jack) spent the night Saturday night. Everyone was on their best behavior and we had a good time, including going to Organ Stop Pizza and dancing to some of the songs. We even swam (no, the pool is not as hot as a bathtub).

However much fun the weekend was, it always seems to come to a sudden stop when Monday intrudes. (And now, just in case my boss should ever read this) However, when you have a job as fun as mine, even Mondays mean the fun gets to continue. (OK, now back to the real blog).

Leftover Chinese food for lunch. I am usually the designated leftover keeper when family goes out. Yeah, I don't mind them and have some for lunch about half the time. Today's is Kung Pao chicken.

OK, let's get this anniversary day underway and knock out those stinking reports due every Monday so I can get home with my beautiful wife. Thanks for dropping by on this 112°F day for a visit.

p.s. I found the set list for Weird Al. Here it is.

1. Polka Face
2. Frank's 2000" TV
3. TMZ
4. You Make Me
5. You Don't Love Me Anymore
6. Smells Like Nirvana
7. Skipper Dan
8. Party in the CIA
9. CNR
10. Canadian Idiot
11. Wanna B Ur Lovr
12. Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies / Whatever You Like / Another Tattoo / eBay / I Want a New Duck / Theme From Rocky XIII / Spam / My Bologna / Ode to a Superhero / Lasagna / Eat It
13. Amish Paradise
14. Craigslist
15. Perform This Way
16. White & Nerdy
17. Fat
18. Encore:
18. The Saga Begins
19. Yoda

Old Spice? No Dice.

These stinkin' Olympics mean I cannot watch anything else when I get home at night. How about y'all? Are you watching more than you expected? Trying to keep up with Phelps and Franklin and everyone?

Speaking of Olympics, there have been several ads that mimic events or the Olympics themselves. At least they have not gone this far yet. BTW, this is CoV 777.

Caleb, here is one of the videos that show the Old Spice commercials being filmed. It looks like NBC has blocked the other one about being on a horse. Why were we talking about an old ad campaign? Because Isaiah Mustafa, the Old Spice guy, was in the movie.

Caleb, Lauri and I went to see The Three Stooges last night at the cheapie theater. It was fun if you like the old Stooges films. The new leads did an amazing job of channeling the characters. Larry David had a great part as one of the nuns.

I tried the new chef-inspired salad at Taco Bell last night. I thought it was pretty good (although it coasts more than most menu items at $4.79). It could have done with a bit more lettuce.

Listen, if I am going for the gold in my job, I need to start my warm-ups now. Have a great weekend.

The Hurrier I Go,...

the Behinder I get. That good news, though, right? It means I still have a job and people looking to me for information. So, let's get this post finished so I can finish yesterday's assignment and get going to today's.

We met KKCL for dinner last night at Fuddruckers and they gave me no small amount of grief for ordering a veggie burger. C went so far as to say that should not even be classified as a burger. He also asked if I would put lettuce and tomato and pickles on it, thereby adding more veggies to my veggie burger and should it now be called a double veggie burger. Is this a case of "You reap what you sow?"

From the book of Pahrump, Chapter 6, we read:
1. And Preacher Great Grandfather Singleton begat Organist Neen and his days were 80 years and change.
2. And Organist Neen begat Artist Mom and her days were 80 plus years.
3. And Artist Mom begat Preacher Bro, who begat Preacher-elect Nephew, and there was mild rejoicing.

This morning, I saw an ad on TV for a local vision correction company, but I wanted to do a work-related comic. This is what I ended up with.

Pahrump 3:7 And Preacher Bro said, "Lo. What doth hinder me from moving South of town into my own abode?" And there was a smidgen of rejoicing.

There is a contractor who periodically works out of our building. I only know him because he says hello each day, He arrives before most folks and I am one of the 2-3 that are in the building at the time (as you might guess, he came in a few minutes ago). I mention this because he bring donuts and offers me one. I have to take one. It is common courtesy. Wouldn't you?

I said that I had a whole lot to do this morning so I could not stay long in Blogville. And yet, I am still here. Which of course, reminds me of another verse. Pahrump 8:23b "...and there was great rejoicing."

K&A were quite tired after their first day of school yesterday. Enrollment is not ramping up very quickly at A's school, so she fears staff right-sizing may occur. I hope she is not affected. K's school is doing OK, and she has about 24 students right now.

Whatever else I may have to say can wait. We all need to get busy (or at least look busy. Am I right? Can I get an Amen?).

OK, I finished my glazed chocolate cake donut. I can now type without fear of donuting my keyboard. I am going to work now.

Being Bad in Badminton and Being Direct in Directing

Last night, as usual on Tuesdays, was Chorale practice. What was less than usual was the fact that our family made up about 15% of the group. Right now, Preacher Bro is in town with his better half and two halflings. So, counting myself and the folks, there were seven of us out of around 40 singers. And then, I directed one song, which is always fun. I think a good time was had by all.

And then, this morning, controversy in London erupts as several teams are disqualified for throwing a match in Olympics badminton so they could move up in the round robin tournament. That deserves some comment in today's CoV.

You know what? I am just going to have to meet the bathroom remodel contractor at a store and let him help me make the final choices. I am really stuck in getting our design completed and today is the first day of school, so all of us are sharing the one shower.

So, as I noted, K&A both have their first day with kids at school today. You can keep them in your prayers and I know they will both be exhausted at the end of the day. Luckily, we are meeting family at Fuddrucker's, so that'll be a nice ending to a long day.

We got K's car fixed a few weeks ago and it looks like something was not fixed correctly, so back we go. Don't you hate that? Thanks to Dad for the loan of one of his cars so we can leave K's Cavalier for a day or so.

Hey, you! In the back! I see your eyes glazing over. I guess I have been talking too much, huh? All right, we'll stop for now. I'll be here tomorrow. Will you?